Bank Teller  0434 715.861 gets his jollies from inciting unrest at Nosh Stops on Muggs' Sunday bicycle rides and then penciling a diatribe in the weekly Bullsheet ride wrap-ups arse-about (to create a colourful yarn) where the good guys lose and the also-rans get credited with the PBs and KOMs. 

At Muggs’ functions Bank Teller has been given the restaurant bill to apportion out, ‘cause he reputedly used to move around big bucks on a plethora of large infrastructure and commercial property loan syndications in his former job at one of the Four Pillar banks.  Alas, evidencing PJ calculating everyone’s cop, suggest it would take him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

Doesn't have a circle of mentors, and occasionally resembles a chap upon whose toe an elephant has recently trodden and about as sentimental as a razor blade. 

An insouciant manner without frills or furbelows, Bank Teller ain't got a twin cam overdrive under the bonnet, and is content to trundle along at the rear of the field and shepherd the tail.  Given his military medium cadence, "It's hard to believe that he once beat a million other sperm to the egg."

A Polemicist always prepared to put his head above the parapet, and regularly gets shot at over his stands on social issues, in particular -

*    predatory marketing of credit cards to Australians with very poor numeracy and literacy skills, Revolvers, often thru no fault of their own that are paying the cost of 'lines of credit' enjoyed by Transactors;

*    Australia's inept assistance to refugees from Rohingya (Myanmar), Syria, Iraq, Yemen, Burundi, Congo, South Sudan et al flooding into nearby countries, whilst Australia is hidden away from the problem a long way down in the South Pacific, leaving it to other countries, notably Germany to provide humanitarian aid to peoples, not as lucky as ourselves, in dire circumstances;

*    excessive/voracious CEO and Board rem whilst rank 'n file employees wages have flat-lined and 'casual work' (no benefits/supports) has become the norm'; and

*    'political cowardice' by not confronting the need to re-introduce both corporal and capital punishment, because -

      a)  the recidivism rate (prisoners being released after serving a sentence, then committing further crime and returning to jail) is over 50% within 2.33 years of release in Australian jails.  The N.T. and NSW have the highest re-offenders. Prisons 'institutionalize' a lot of inmates, whereupon those inmates become a costly ongoing burden on the Public Purse; and

      b)  warehousing squillions of criminal offenders in zillions of tiny steel cages within The University Of Crime (as punishment and deterrent) is a costly use of the public purse, better expended on health, education and transportation of taxpayers and the next generation of taxpayers.

BankTeller can be as prickly as a cactus and as cutting as a razor blade.  With a bit of Rottweiler coming to the fore when colleagues fail to take up the cudgels for change, BankTeller is unlikely to -


*       see out his final years as a United Nations peacekeeper; or

*       receive appointment to the Diplomatic Corp.

In the cane fields   




Circa 2002 at Lake Macq.


BankTeller got lucky on a ride to Windsor.  He was just about to take a team pic in Historic Thompson's Square, when he noticed a young lady who'd brighten any drab cycling photo.  BankTeller enquired, "Can we borrow your body for our pic?"  Voila! One "Lucky Phil" 'cause the young lass accommodated.  Alas, but slipped away before BankTeller could propose to her.

Circa Oct '04 thru the Lowlands, Nth Richmond amidst wholesome, well fertilised serenity that recharged the therapy gauge to push-on harder
"Tour de Lowlands, Nth Richmond Freemans Reach'' - 81km, albeit flattish, will be featured on a Muggs' Sunday Ride soon, 'cause it is bonza, beaut, bottler ride, offering a marvellous, remedial distraction from the stuff most of us contend with M to F.




  Bank Teller 'n Widget at Spencer   

Racing the Sag Wagon on 3rd annual Tour de Wiseman's Ferry


   Richard, Bank Teller, Ned 'n Malvern Star circa 2005

 0st pics -    BankTeller still holds the last wicket partnership record stand in 'A' Grade of 141 at the turf wicket at Storey Park Asquith back in 1969 - with Pat Portlock

 00st pics -  Caltex Melbourne to Sydney Bicycle Ride - 28 Nov to 12 Dec 1988 -  900km circa

 01st pics -  Finishing the 1989 Australian IronMan Triathlon in 13:37 at Forster NSW.   Official webpage evidence of the uneventful.

 02nd pic -   Breaking Casper T the Friendly Ghost's side wall circa 1982, much to the chagrin of his next door neighbour who didn't see the humour

 ¼th pics -   BankTeller #439 finished 1990 New Zealand IronMan Triathlon from Auckland in 13:40

 ¾th pics -  Caltex Melbourne to Sydney Bicycle Ride - 28 Nov to 12 Dec 1988 -  900km circa

1st pics -     BankTeller's Nevada secret training camp holiday - Donner Lake Nevada triathlon - 2003

 2nd pics -   BankTeller kayaking Lake Tahoe 

 3rd pics -   BankTeller's Death Ride KOMs

 4th pics -   Other mates in Tahoe

 5th pics -   Bordeaux to Barcelona crossing the Pyrénées, Sept 2001

 7th pics -   Hiking in Yosemite Park, California Aug '05

 8th pics -   Driving from Yosemite to back Lake Tahoe

 9th pics -   A day in San Francisco

10th pics -  Litespeed titanium to ride on visits to Lake Tahoe

11th pics -  Cycling as Pilot with Sean as the Stoker

12th pics -  Phil organises 4 relay teams to swim 11km from Harbour Bridge to Manly Wharf

13th pics -  2007 San Francisco "12km Bay to Breakers"

14th pics -  2007 Indian Valley Century Ride

15th pics -  A day at the baseball in San Francisco with old friends from Sacramento

16th pics -  More pics from Tahoe and camping in California

17th pics -  Swam 2009  2.5km Palm Beach to Whale Beach BIG SWIM  in  1 hr :10 mins 33 sec

18th pics -  Critical Mass ride from Hyde Park over the Harbour Bridge to North Sydney Park  -  Friday, 27 Nov '09

19th pics -  John Waters & Phil Johnston were still disrupting classes at Leo's 40 years on - Wed, 18 Nov '09

20th pics -  Swam 2010  2km Cole Classic at Manly in 55 mins - pics

21st pics -  29th Annual Donner Lake Triathlon  -  2010

22nd pics -  2010 California & Nevada pics

23rd pics Yachting on Lake Tahoe  -  2010

24th pics Climbing Mt. Rose  -  2010

25th pics Climbing Grouse Grind  and seeing things at the top - Vancouver 2011

26th pics Visit to Whistler with Natalie - Aug 2011

27th pics Greyhound to/from Squamish for knee surgery - Aug 2011

28th pics Other Vancouver pics

29th pics -  A few pics from visiting John W. in Eugene, Oregon - Aug 2011

30th pics -  Racing on Nelson Bay

31st pics -  2.7km Palm Beach to Whale Beach  -  2012

32nd pics - Cycling 515km from Banff to Jasper - Aug '12

33rd pics -  Kayaking from Jericho Beach  - Sept 2012

34th pics - 2012 Tour de Conquer  - 14 days cycling in Rhone Alps and Provence  

35th pics The Bold and the Beautiful  1½km-ish  7am Manly Beach to Shelly Beach 'n back

36th pics 'Din dins' at Surry Hills

37th pics Visit to Melbourne after Great Vic Bike Ride  -  Dec 2014

38th pics Johnston clan get-together Xmas 2014

39th pics Not the balmiest day to swim at South Curly pool

40th pics Pics from 2015 visit to Vancouver and Northern USA 

41st pics Walk over Hawrelak-Laurier Park Footbridge crossing of North Saskatchewan River in Edmonton to 'Dog Beach'

42nd pics Visit to Santa Monica Beach with Sacramento amigo, Rick - Aug 2016

43rd pics USA - December  2017

44th pics Local midweek ride pics  CGs

45th pics -  Childhood, cousins and friends  -  old Betamax tapes converted to MP4  -  N pics

46th pics -  My Christening in 1951 and brother Gerard's First Holy Communion at Lindfield Catholic Church in 1951

47th pics -  Coming Out! (to hit off the Ladies tees)                                                                         

49th pics -  Class of '69 50th reunion   55th

50th pics -  1st quarterly legerdemain/agility contests

51st pics -  Russia & France 2019:  Day 1,   Day 2,   Day 3Day 4Day 5Day 6Day 7Day 8Day 9Day 10Day 11Day 12Day 13Day 14, Jean's town pics

52nd pics - Family Happy Snaps     Alfred James Eggins

53rd pics - Private Road out of 10 Carr St, Waverton

54th pics - Stokes St, Lane Cove North     Carports      Issues     Stop Signs

55th pics -  Public Service

Carbo loading on a monster burger at Kulnura circa 3rd 'Linger 'n Die'
Matt aka The Printer, in red jersey, didn't like tomatoes, but downed a Black Disprin.

Stretching a hamstring at Windsor


Climbing Mt Wellington, Hobart 1,337m above sea level circa Feb '05 with Peter from Austria who rode a seriously heavier treadley


Coledale Cafe and Wollongong Harbour - Jan 2006



BankTeller places a high stead on his 3 titanium bikes.  In 2002 he broke a gear cable on his RX Mongoose Ti bike and hailed a NSW Ambulance at Mt White which kindly dropped him at Hawkesbury River train station

Audley Weir, circa News Year's day 2007

Laurence 'n Bank Teller on Palm Beach Wharf awaiting ferry to Patonga - circa Jan '07

BankTeller, Pelvis 'n Pete's mate, Bruce met Breakfast Show Announcer, and Bicycle Buff, Adam Spencer, at the 702 Breakfast on Ride 2 Work Day - circa Oct '07.  As Adam autographed Pete's 702 Red T-shirt, BankTeller mentioned that he had spoken to Adam on-air earlier that morn' at 5:40am, when Adam had asked listeners who were cycling to 'phone ahead.  Adam retorted, "At that time, anyone can get straight thru."

Printer, Bank Teller 'n Pelvis slogging up Saddleback Mountain, Kiama during 4th Berry KOM Challenge

BankTeller & DishPig above Hawkesbury River train station - circa 2005
RHS pic:  BankTeller, Pelvis & Tyro slogging up another hill in 4th Berry KOM Challenge













Audley Weir - Jan '09

Outside Thai Restaurant Terrey Hills  -  Jan '10

Cliftonville - June '10

Ferry to Wagstaffe with Jane aka Neo-Luddite's familiar pose - Xmas 2010

Bank Teller and Kev aka TexDubbo at the Hub of the Universe on a pristine Autumn day - April '13

On the backroads to Richmond  -  Nov 2013

Andy's Cafe, Nth Galston - May '14

Woy Woy station - June 2014

BankTeller is madly in love with a tenacious female cyclist, Billie Fleming, who may not know about his deep feelings

Or is he more smitten with Sarah Maddock?

April 2015 on Patonga Wharf

Attending Greg Prerau aka ArchitectToo's funeral after his tragic trauma fall whilst cycling down Mona Vale Rd on a Saturday morning in March 2020