Tony managed the imbibing function at a local licensed club, namely he was the Bar Manager responsible for staffing and product.  Tony is "multi-skilled" having worked in real estate management, and presently working at The Hornsby Club as The Cellarman, where is job is to make sure all the pipes are clean, the beer cold and 'ya favourite drop doesn't run-out.

Isn't that picture a shocker?  Actually it is the result of a painstakingly well prepared mould.  Take a closer peek below the neck at the seam-line.  Now, if BigGears had only zipped-up his jersey, this pic would have been indistinguishable from the real Publican!  The eyes also give it away, 'cause no one could have those 'ogles'.

After modeling for the ugliest photo award, we learnt:


¨           When Publican was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room to his Dad and said, “I'm very sorry we did everything we could, but he pulled through.”

¨           New born, Tony, was so ugly that the obstetrician slapped his mother (instead of his bum).

¨           Tony was so unsightly as a newborn, his mother had morning sickness AFTER he was born.

¨           When Tony was naughty as a Wee Nipper, his mother made him look in the mirror as punishment.

¨           Publican was such a hideous lookin' kid that when he played in the sandbox the cat kept covering him over.

¨           Young Tony was so unsightly growing up that his Dad tied a pork chop around his new born's neck so as to get the dog to play with him.

¨           Tony could tell that his parents weren’t particularly enamored with him, ‘cause his bath toys were a hair dryer and an electric toothbrush. 

¨           His father carried around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. 

¨           Once as a young nipper Tony became lost.  Upon spotting a policeman, Tony asked for help to find his parents.  Tony reassuringly enquired of the constable, "Do you think we'll ever find them?"  The officer retorted, "I don't know kid, there are so many places they could hide."

¨           When he was a bony eight year old, Tony was kidnapped & the bad guys sent a piece of his finger to his father, but his Dad insisted that he req’d more proof. 

¨           Concerned about young Tony's appearance and demeanor, they took him to the local doctor, where Tony exasperatingly gesticulated.  "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up;  What's wrong with me?".  The Doc discerningly responded,.. “I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."

¨           Publican worked in a Pet Shop as a youth, but became deterred from customers enquiring, , "How big do they usually grow to?" and "Do you have to have a permit to keep one?"



Publican caught -

  • struggling up from West Head; and 

  • bludging on the flats at Koppers Log KOM.

Tony has been an erstwhile Publican of late, having been AWOL from recent Muggs' rides.  The attached e-mail provides an explanation of the generous trait in Tony's persona we all knew he possessed, selflessly helping out local less possessed young folk.  Publican has taken-up a coaching position in the round ball game to assist the local girl's school. 

Extract from The Bullsheet for 14 Oct '07

Somersby Bellbirds has historically been a tough 126km ride from Hornsby, ostensibly because the pace is always on.  However, to celebrate Tony's return after training the local girl's Soccer Team all Winter, it t'was tougher today for Publican 'cause he peeled off 155km cycling from Dural at Sparrow Fart where he froze his proverbial off on the descent to Galston Gorge bridge.  When Scribe left Tony around 2pm at Hookham's Corner, Publican still had another 17km to do via The Gorge thence SW to his Dural 'digs'.

Hit-run victim still keen to jump back on his cycle