Beyond Blue  -  Topic: single mum, 2 kids

Broken wings

1 November 2013

I am only new to this. I am tired have had enough at the end.. I am single mum to 2 kids year apart. there dad and i divorced 6 years ago. he never has the kids. he sees them but is emotionally abusive and threatens physical violence towards them.. i have not had a break for such a long time. i am over it. i work part-time and am with the kids the rest of the time. i love my kids but i cant keep doing this on my own with no support. i feel like i am going to either have a break down or sleep and never wake up. i am at the point where i wish for either

Pixie15

1 November 2013 in reply to Broken wings

Hi Broken wings,

Sounds like you are doing it tough. Do you have family or friends who might like to take your kids for awhile to give you a break? Maybe a weekend away. 

If you have lost touch with what you enjoy it might help to reconnect to some of the things you enjoyed doing the marriage and parenthood.

If you have a Women's Health Center or Community Center in your area they will be able to put you in touch with other services and support groups which can help you. 

Hope you find the support you need. Best wishes, Mulberry.

Broken wings

2 November 2013 in reply to Pixie15

Thank you for your words. I appreciate any suggestions. 

Nobody will take both kids, one definitely won't go with anyone. I have been in touch with services to help me out. I am always told you need a break. How?? I am do frustrated!! I will break before I get a break. We are such an angry house hold. Kids keep telling me how angry I am. I have no patience left for life anymore

Pixie15

2 November 2013 in reply to Broken wings

Hi, Yeah I know anger. I run to let mine out. Pound it into the ground. I have been told that pounding your mattress with a baseball bat or something can also be useful. I have a image in my head of women in the days before the vacuum cleaner hanger there rugs over a line and whacking them to get the dust out. This may have been good therapy. 

EmTheGem

19 November 2013 in reply to Broken wings

Hi Broken Wings, have you heard of an organisation called Big Brother, Big Sister? Not sure how old your kids are or where you are living, but Big Brother Big Sister provides mentoring to kids aged 7 upwards. There's one in Sydney. I'm involved with a similar organisation in the UK which primarily provides this service to single parent families. It not only helps the kids in single parent families but also the parent, by having someone else to share the parenting with and also giving the parent a break. Big brother big sister isn't quite the same, ie is not primarily for single parent families, but I think it would be worth looking into and contacting them. Having the support of such an organisation would, I think, enable you to not feel so alone, give you support with day to day parenting, and most importantly give you a break. Good luck.

19 November 2013

Hi Broken Wings

I really feel for you and your situation.  This may be of absolute no use to you at all, but:   Is it possible for you and the kids to take a weekend away somewhere?  Without knowing too much detail, it's a bit hard to advise or give suggestions.  And I guess the other problem with doing something like that is that it'll cost.

But for me, I always feel so much better (even if it's for a short time) if I can get away to the coast for a weekend.  Again with the cost and other issues, it's not always possible, but if something like that could work for you, you never know it might help out?   And say something like:   "And during this time, the 'anger' will not be coming with us.

I wish you luck and hope you can find some kind of assistance in your situation soon,

Cheers

Neil

20 November 2013 in reply to Broken wings

dear Broken wings, the kids won't go to anyone else's house only because your ex has programmed violence and fear into them.

If he is paying maintenance which he should be doing then can you stop him seeing them, this then doesn't solve your problem of having no free time though.

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