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Beyond Blue - Topic: New to the site but also a single mum dealing with depression/anxiety Chloekat84 17 July 2014 Hello everyone, you may have seen my posts in other subjects such as the anxiety/depression and treatment sections in the forum. Been dealing with depression and anxiety since my late teens. Been finding it hard to deal with over the years with different medications and being in and out of hospital a lot etc. I had a big meltdown 3 weeks ago which landed me in hospital which i hadn't been into since i was in my early 20's not including births and gallbladder removal etc. I hadn’t slept for over a week and was hallucinating as i was only having clusters of sleep during the night here and there. Plus i get bad restless les syndrome which doesn’t help. The nausea and aggravation and unable to keep still made me extremely ill. I’m out of hospital now and on medication but don’t know how long it will last as they did blood tests etc to check if anything physically was wrong with me because of my symptoms. It all came back normal so it’s all or to do with the chemical imbalance in my brain which is bringing on the physical symptoms. I’m out of hospital now and feeling ok as imp taking different medications together but imp not sure how long that will last. Waiting to see a psychiatrist then hopefully all will be dealt with. Hasn’t been easy i can tell u with looking after both the kids during the school holidays with no help. Family are too far away and have their own issues to deal with anyways so can’t run to them. Just needed to vent. Anyways hope everyone is having a good and restful night xxx Hi Chloekat My heart bleeds for you after that "vent". It isn’t sympathy as I know that’s not what you want, its understanding mixed with care. You have endured and survived and you have kids and you keep on keeping on. Whatever our challenges we fall and we pick ourselves up again towards a little stability only to fall again. Some don’t get up again other do. I will never stop getting up again...that's my pledge to myself and to my family and friends. That's all well and good but no matter the amount of positivity one can fall into the cycle of depression and we have to wait until that cycle decides to go its full circle before we see the signs it’s time to rise again. You do it for your kids. They need you, they want you, they love you. Society is only beginning to grasp the acceptance of mental disorders as being out of the cupboard, nothing to be ashamed of, no reason to keep it a secret etc but we have a long way to go. Here we can express, explain, reach out and share. You have done that and here you are having gone through yet another episode in hospital and no assistance from family. You should pat yourself on the back. Feel proud. You are a success. You are a mum that cares. It's people like you that makes life worthwhile. You cannot help having an imbalance, it’s not your fault. But regardless....you bounce straight back up again and continue on....and that makes you an incredible human being. All you have to do is one thing- believe exactly that. AGrace Champion Alumni 1052 posts 18 July 2014 in reply to Chloekat84 Hi Chloekat, Every time I read a post whereby the writer has been battling mental illness and raising children I get so inspired, and it puts some of my issues into perspective. I think if you can face these challenges and be an incredible mother then you must be a truly brave and strong person. Going into hospital is never fun, but it does serve a purpose to give us a much needed break, as well as enable us to be closely monitored during severe episodes or change of medication. I heard a couple of times in your post that you don't know how long this remission period will last. I think just take each day as it comes, try not to think in terms of the future of having another meltdown. Just keep doing what you're doing to stay well. Not having family support during school holidays can be tough, especially when you feel a bit under the weather. It might be an idea to have some activities, and maybe some play dates with school friends, or school holiday programs arranged for the next break, just to give you some time out. I hope you'll keep posting, I know I've seen you respond to others posts which I'm sure Beyondblue and the forum community are really grateful for. AGrace Chloekat84 225 posts 18 July 2014 in reply to AGrace Hello AGrance and white knight. Just reading your posts has made me feel a little better about myself in general even when things aren’t going how i planned and are hard without the support i really need. You have inspired me to keep my chin up and keep going. My son goes home 2moro then things will go back 2moro so trying to cheer myself up and make the most of today. Thank you again guys and BB for your continued support on these posts :) gmc 188 posts 20 July 2014 in reply to Chloekat84 Hello Chloekat84, I've read your thread and I really think that writing here about your problems and responding to others proves that you really know you are not alone and you can trust others so that hard feelings and moments like those that break you down will stay behind while you keep going on with your life for you and your kids. Community is such a great support, online and offline. Maybe getting into an offline community will do good too. I know a recently divorced mom that started massage courses and was hired in an association where they take care of old people with no family support and she is happier that she was with the job from where she was fired and with husband that left her for another woman. Keep posting. I'll continue reading. Sharing stories like yours and reading responses like from White Knight and AGrace makes us others know that we can all continue struggling for a better life. Chloekat84 225 posts 21 July 2014 in reply to gmc Hello gmc. I appreciate the reply. I try and take each day as it comes and some are better than others. Today i have felt a bit off and i think it’s because i didn’t take my anti-depressant at the same time today as i ran out and had to go to the doctors to get a script. He wants me to start weaning off the anti psycs I’m taking and also another anti-anxiety medication but I’m worried as I’m anxious now taking it and if i stop completely I’ll be a mess. I’m trying to think positively but it’s hard when I’m going to only be on anti-depressants again. That’s how i got to hospital in the first place although it was a different drug. Anyways trying to stay happy now and go to bed soon so goodnight :) x Geoff - Life Member 22 July 2014 in reply to Chloekat84 dear Chloeka, I am pleased that you had replies from these beautiful people above who know just like myself and you that depression can be such a struggler which can come and go without any warning, and we never know it and when then is going to happen. I have been feeling well for the last 9 years or so, but this doesn't stop me from having a relapse, and it's happened at least a couple of times, and our normal thinking is 'oh hell not again', but fortunately I am at the stage of where I know that I will improve and get over it. This isn't easy to learn how this is done, perhaps it's something that just happens to us, or maybe I am old enough to have experienced it many times. If you know your pharmacist well they should be able to give some AD's which would cover you until you can have an appointment with your doctor, who might be busy or on holidays. The pressure of looking after kids while on holidays can be enormous, because you’re in no frame of mind to discuss or maybe debate or even argue with them, and it does seem to intensify and worsen your state of mind. It's great to have you on board. L Geoff. x Magichope 22 July 2014 in reply to Chloekat84 Hi Chloekat84's, Isn’t that the way, family live too far away or are busy?. Even worse if they live around the corner and are too busy. it takes just a moment to share a caring word, thought or deed that can change a person’s day and flow through the week and on...Try to keep up the healthy sleep and know that you are doing the best you can, in all you do, with the energy and resources you have. Blessings. Magichope. Chloekat84 22 July 2014 in reply to Magichope Thanks for the reply guys. Having an off day when it comes to my anxiety. I’m not depressed just really anxious and i had to go down the street as as well :( didn’t know how to deal with it. It’s a feeling of constant adrenaline in your system that won’t go away and you need to keep moving all the time. I hate it. I’ve had a few good days so thought i was getting better then this happens grrr. I am starting a new anti-depressant so that could be playing a part as well. See my doc next Tuesday so if this doesn’t go away I’m gonna be telling him this. Anyways if any of you have tips on how to cope when you’re not feeling the best I’ll take anything on board. Thanks. Take care guys x Pushing Thru 6 April 2015 Hello. I am new to the site (or any other like it).. but not at all new to depression. I have learned various ways and means to kick the dog when it bites and have come back from the brink many times. One of my preferred strategies is to understand what is bringing it on. Once I recognise the cause - I can usually beat the symptom. However, I have never been able to fully understand why I feel so trapped and immobilised every school holidays. I am a single mum with no family and very little support - yes... however I have an amazing kid and live in paradise with unlimited beauty and wonder about us. My daughter isn't the problem - I am. There is nothing stopping me from getting on with whatever I want to do but for some reason - I just can't. I just don't get it. It happens EVERY time no matter how many strategies I put in place. Does this happen to anyone else? Shameless 7 April 2015 in reply to Pushing Thru Hi Pushing through, it's a struggle I know! Try planning something every second day, take a rest day in between to have movie day or play date at home! The days you need to do push yourself to do something make sure your up and ready by ten, just go to the local park, or the shops, the movies, go out til just twelve if you can to start with, set only small steps that you can achieve! Not sure of your daughters age but I look for community events in my area that don't necessarily cost big loads of money! Kids love parks, water playgrounds and just riding to get a nice cream as a treat! Don't beat yourself up, just keep trying and take faith and hope from your daughters joy! Best luck and wishes for the holidays from another complicated but loving mum! |
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