Probationer

Another blessed 'I.T. Nerd', Probationer reckons that he has never had much luck with women:

     Over a memorable Nosh Stop, Mike recounted that one day he came home early from work to surprise his then wife and noticed a guy jogging off in the bollocky.  Mike said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"  He said "Because you came home early.

    “A girl I was interested-in 'phoned me the other day and said... "Come on over, there's nobody home,"  I went over.  Nobody was home.

    "During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me.  Just the other night she called me from a hotel."

    "Why do I always meet women who seem to need a reason to have sex.   I just need a place."

    "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."

    "My girlfriends always laugh during sex - no matter what they are reading.  And even if they aren't reading."

    "You know that look women get when they want sex?  Me neither."

    He told a friend that his wife rushed out to buy 2 new hearing aids because when he climbed into bed with her, snuggled up and whispered, "Honey, to you want to go to sleep or what?" and she said, "WHAT?"

    After answering, "Yes, I might, I guess so," to his wife's questions about whether he'd get remarried if she died first and whether he'd let his new wife live in their house, and she angrily asked if he'd let her play with her golf clubs, he replied, "Oh, no, she's a lefty."

Mike's a big lump of a lad who opted for Muggs' ploy of bunging the biggest chain-ring on the rear cluster that will possibly fit.  Mike's got Campagnolo Chorus whereby the biggest chain-ring his puny rear hub can take is only a 28.  Still hasn't got down to his local bike shop for the retrofit.  

On Sunday 13 Oct '02 Windsor ride, after 120km of slogging out West which was as Dry as a Dead Dingo's Donger, Mike still managed to climb the mother of all nasties - 75m 17^o at top of Kissing Point, in a 39/23.  His knee-caps must've been about to explode, but he never let on.

After leading Widget 'n Scribe astray at the Wollombi Hotel on the 2nd Linger 'n Die Ride last Dec where there were Three Blind Mice at night's end, and similar roistering at other Muggs' socials, Probationer has been lying low lately.