Sunday, 18 Aug, 8:15am from St Ives for "Brunch at Warriewood" - 103km - ETR 1pm

• Ride Leader  Phil Johnston - 9498.3684 hm

• Hardcopy these directions and bring on Sunday

• Cycle two abreast at own risk.  Keep well to LHS

• Get off the road at Sag Stops

• Maintain your membership of Bicycle NSW for Public Liability cover in case another Mugg sues your arse for riding negligence

• When passing a fellow Mugg, always provide a metre clearance.  If you can't, or are passing on the inside, you MUST call out loudly eg. "passing inside tight" etc

Snapshot :
Rollout St Ives 8:15am Terrey Hills, Duffy’s Forest, West Head (1^st Nosh Stop) – pack nibbles), Church Point, Warriewood (2^nd Nosh Stop).  Return Wakehurst Parkway and Forest Way - ETR St Ives 1pm.

1st Leg: St Ives to West Head, via Duffys Forest - 41.2km
Depart St Ives car-park by 8:15am [slower cyclists start from 8:05am] -

• E along Mona Vale Rd for 6.2km;

• L [opposite Forest Way - at Mona Vale Fruit Barn] into Myoora Rd and take a fleeting Sag Stop (3 min);

• 3km along Myoor Larool Rd until 70m before Booralie Rd;

• L into Tepko Rd (75m short of Booralie Rd) for 400m;

• L into Booralie Rd and pedal like "shit out of Shanghai" 6.7km flat/fast stretch past Terrey Hills Golf Course and rifle range to Duffys Forest (amidst real pigs, goats, horses 'n cows);

• "U" turn at the dead-end of Cow Corner – if you are dragging the chain, cut the corner and return via same route and pull up 150m past Terrey Hills neighbourhood shopping centre [opposite Terrey Hills Thai Restaurant] for a Sag Stop [3 min];

• Down McCarrs Creek Rd enter Ku’ring’gai Chase National Park for 3km to "V" (dual entrances to the park);

• R at the "V" anti-clockwise and descend to McCarrs Creek;

• L over bridge for 1.8km to "T" juncture (Akuna Bay Marina is 3.5km on LHS);

• Ahead 12km along West Head Rd to the headland.

Pack lots of nibbles, ‘cause we take our 1st Nosh Stop (15 min) from 9:10am for a snack and a gawk at the majestic, shimmering blue peninsula - Pittwater/Lion Island stuff.

2nd Leg: West Head to Warriewood - 29.8km
Around 9:25am -

• Return 12km to "T" juncture with Akuna Bay descent

• Ahead descending 1.8km to McCarrs Creek bridge at 9:35am [55km] for Sag Stop - getting well off the road on LHS [3 min]

• L into McCarrs Creek Rd for 8.8km past Church Point, Bayview Marina and pulling up 50m before Cabbage Tree Rd for Sag Stop - lift bike off the road above gutter [3 min]

• R into Cabbage Tree Rd ( (Bayview Golf Course will be on both L and R) for 1.5km leads into Samuel St and crosses Mona Vale Rd at roundabout,

• R into Warriewood Rd 200m later crossing Pittwater Rd at traffic lights and immediately climbing up Hunter St [dog-leg L, then R] which leads to views of Blue Pacific overlooking majestic Warriewood Beach [around 10:35am - 71 km] for 2nd Nosh Stop (35 min).

A neighbourhood, strip-front shopping centre is immediately on RHS in Narrabeen Park Pde.  Nautilus Café is about 4 shops along.  Sunrise Milk Bar, on the cnr, makes grouse burgers and collects Winter sun.

Never in the 7 year history of Muggs' Sunday rides has "so much been cocked-up by so few" or was that "so many".  Today, "the inmates took over the asylum".  Navigator, come back soon, 'cause we need you!  The Ride Organiser's task 'twas akin to "herding cats" - gross negligence, willful misconduct, fraud 'n fare evasion.  Fortunately arson wasn't amongst our misdemeanors, 'cause out Windsor way, 'twas as dry as a dead dingo's donger.

A week ago we were greeted with a nippy morn' for our local Quatre Montagnes sojourn.  Two weeks ago we froze our buns off on the decent to BH bridge.  But today, "What a veritable corker!" 27^o [80^o Fahrenheit in the middle of Winter - "this town is God's own Country"] and the crew came out of the woodwork to get aboard with Tornado, RockSolid, Scribe, Widget, Flash, Volkswagen, BigGears, Publican and Adam 'n Eve rolling out of Turra' smack on 8½ bells.  

After a potentially fatal encounter on the wrong part of Kissing Point Rd, where Teller meekly enquired as to whether an Asian local wouldn't mind reversing a large furniture truck off the road "quickishly", followed by a nasty little climb from Brown's Water Hole, we collected more crew at the edge of the M2 - Rocket, Sputnik, Princess Caroline 'n Whippet.

Scribe did mention at Marayong Station, that our route "hugged the train line to Windsor".  However, we still managed to loose a few, albeit a flat contributed.  Alas, today was a day for flats.  Perhaps a few crew could open the wallet, dust off the moths, drag out a few Red Backs and invest in new rubber which could be "money well spent" if you "flat" at speed down a 15^o grade.

After 48 clicks of brill sunshine, albeit into a headwind, we arrived at Historic Thompsons' Square, met up with ToothFairy 'n Pacific and settled in at Aldo's for drugs 'n grits.

As can be gleaned from the above two pics outside Aldo & Sons "Pizza and Pasta", Muggs were doing it tough, after a 48km first leg, with the final few clicks thru Arnhem Land.

Aldo should know better, 'cause if you "pay peanuts, you get monkeys," so don't employ Widget to clean up the dishes.  Aldo likes to provide a bonanza of suds when he makes a "Flat White", but that's another story.  And who knows, some customers might like to receive a Cappuccino when they order a Flat White.

Our 37km 2nd Leg "Sackville Loop" to Deliverance Country wasn't a testament to military precision, due to "more flats" and whatever.  

Adam 'n Eve returning from Sackville to the aura of Dueling Banjoes

But we all made it back to Windsor, whereupon it was All ahead full, and Don't spare the horses, as we fast-tracked it to nearby Clarendon train station for the 2:49pm hourly service.  At the Clarendon Railway Café Wank Teller might 've been a tad boorish suggesting to the preening waitresses, who were playing musical chairs with our food order, that they were making a mountain out of a molehill in serving us some tarts.

Guess what, at the station one of our crew informed he hadn't paid anyone back at the café for his pastry.  BigGears politely enquired whom should he pay.  Whereupon first Scribe stuck out his mitten, then Widget proffered her paw.  If we'd enquired of the rest of our crew, they too would've accepted BigGears belated contribution.  But no of us on sleepy Clarendon Station was fazed, as we was a bunch of Luddites, and were strugglen' to work out how to operate the confounded ticket machine.

We'd dosed up on victuals at the quaint Clarendon Café, and taken in a 25 min, 7 stop Old Rattler ride back to Marayong, but we still managed to cram in more fodder 'n fluids at Marayong, where Scribe spotted a blue ten dollar bill in the trash can.

After a 6km section along Vardy's Rd, keepen an eye out for local RedNeck yobos in their white circa '70s Valiants, we rejoined the M2 for a memorable 15km slog where the limp Nor-Easter tailwind didn't pack the punch of that unsolicited headwind four hours earlier.  

Notwithstanding that most of us were lookin' like frazzled frankfurters, 'twas a hard-fought climb out of the waterhole.  With the tank showin' empty, Flash, Widget and everyone else left Teller in their wake climbing back up Kissing Point Rd, incl that ball-terror 90m 16^o nasty at the death.

Tornado 'n BigGears fought out the Maillot Jaune back to Turra'.  But after some wily maneuvers and surreptitious scampers thru two sets of lights and in between cars, Bank Teller managed to sneak thru to pip Flash back to Turra' carpark.

NB:  Alas, we lost Sputnik somewhere after heading for the train, but no one was quiet sure where.  Me conjures that Sputnik should make a bigger effort to keep on the tail of someone, 'cause if me was a resident of St Petersburg with only 11 weeks of soaken' up the snow, I'd be glued to a fellow cyclist's arse all day.

Today's sortie out West, visiting "parts inbred", evidenced some of Muggs' most notable cockamamie cock-ups, where the wheels seemingly fell-off and fell-off some more.  Notwithstanding, 16 crew had much fun.  And wouldn't 've missed it for quids!

The Scribe    10 Aug 2002