Muggaccinos Pedlars Sunday Cyclists - The Bullsheet

Riders from either below starting point should arrive at Red Herring Fish Shop where we Brekkie on the Brooklyn Pier from around 8:40am where the MoKador is only average, but the hearty gastronomy is grouse.

• Longer Ride - 82.5kms
  
• Shorter Ride [51.8kms]
  Arrive at Hornsby car-park [100 metres Nth/West of the Railway Hotel in Jersey St] by 7:20am for a 7:30am roll out and cycle 600 metres north up Jersey St, taking a short left, followed by a right 60 metres later [at traffic lights] onto Old Pacific Highway for the 25.9kms ride to Brooklyn’s water's edge.

If the weather is sunny, the glistening blue water of Brooklyn provides a delightful ambience to fill one's face. After Brekkie on the Pier, we commence our return from 9:10 am, with a helter skelter sprint back to Pie in the Sky where the KOM will be fiercely contested, even though "it is not a race", arriving at the scenic grassy knoll just before 10am for a 2^nd caffeine fix on Segafredo [8½ out of 10] and Maggot Sacks with chunks of real meat.

ETR Hornsby 11am or Turra' 11:30am for those not including Berowra Waters/Galston in the return leg:

Four Bravehearts/Silly Sods set off from the Turra’ Tarmac at the ungodly hour of 6.30am intent on re-enacting a 222kms 8 hills ride last done on New Year's Eve back in 1996. That epic finished under moonlight and no one on it could ever forget it, or imagined ever doing it again. [See Widget’s attached archival write-up of the 31 Dec 1996 marathon.] Alas, the Smiling Assassin had struck again and we were powerless to undermine his will.

Fortunately, excellent weather conditions were on offer, however, with eight major climbs to be scaled, the route was another matter: Bobbin Head, Galston Gorge, Berowra Waters, Mount White, Mooney Mooney to Kariong, Bloody Bumble, Brooklyn, Bobbin Head, not to mention a steep section of the Freeway this side of Wyong.

We met up with Andrew Argent and his head cold at the top of Kalkari. AA was optimistic that a tad of gentle exercise would sweat it out of his system. As our first Nosh Stop wasn’t scheduled until the Harley Hangout Mount White we gobbled down some grub whilst waiting for the Punt at Berowra Waters. The Scribe spotted a sole cyclist and seized the opportunity to give him a flier with Muggs Web address, with that familiar used car salesman’s affront:

At Mount White we donned The Nosebags and Papa Bear in go slow mode, berated us for our stupidity, alleging that he wasn’t going to be doing 220kms, asserting that he was getting wise in his old age. Phil and Andrew had also pondered taking a train back from Wyong. Eric is a chap who thinks he's distinguished, 'cause he looks distinguished - a Falstaffian figure seemingly epitomising merriment until he slips into whingeing mode.

After 18 clicks on the Frenetic Freeway, it was all steam ahead for lunch at Yarramalong Manor where we sat down around 2.15pm, with "only a hundred and something kms to go". The leafy table setting in the car park was a welcome sight, even if it was covered with duck dung droppings that PJ scrubbed off, whilst muttering profanities about something ducks. We would have had our meals a lot sooner only the boys’ eyes were more interested in the pretty young waitress’ large mammary glands and not her menu – you wouldn’t believe the small talk dribble they came out with just to keep her table waiting.

Poor Ian developed a case of the stomach cramps, undoubtedly caused by the combination of too much soup and saliva swallowing whilst ogling the innocent lasses distinguishing features.

The Dreaded "Bumble" was next on the agenda and so having feed the scavenger pouch Sig's leftovers and upon remounting, our lean team marched (peddled) onwards and upwards.

Phil, aka Arrogant Bastard, surprised us all at Mount White Store much later. He wanted to use my mobile to ‘phone his mum. Was this a New Year’s Resolution to turn into a caring considerate son? Alas, there was no "How are you going mum?" But, straight into, "Could you grab a full bot of home brew from the cellar, and bung it in the fridge back against the element"! We should have known better from the sod with the sensitivity of a razor blade.

Meanwhile Eric, who had used the first 100 clicks as a warm-up powered onwards as did Phil, Andrew and his cold (now drifting twds pneumonia). All thoughts of catching a train forgotten.

With darkness encroaching we reached our patient little motors at Turra’. It was 8:30pm after the post mortems / chin-wagging finished, whereupon some sarcastic sod suggested PJ sleep in his car at Turra’ in readiness for his impending Quatre Montagnes ride from seven bells in the morrow.

Feeling tired but chipper having successfully re-run Muggs longest ever day ride, which back in '96 we wowed "would never be repeated", we collected our imaginary certificates of achievement, congratulated each other on our lunacy and headed for a Radox scrub ‘n tub.

Five crew [Marea E, Whippet, BackPacker, Temperate Tony and a lethargic PJ] rolled out of Turra’ at 6:50am on a lazy, coolish o’cast morn. Brenda subsequently apologised for her no-show, alleging she "slept-in". Why wouldn’t she having peeled off 217kms the day before, drugging herself on fine wine that night, doping the dogs on Valium and hiding all the alarm clocks in the garage.

Marea, Whippet and Tony hammered to Kalkari with Whippet beating Dynamo Diva by half-a-head - both registering an ave 27.0kms for the 13.5kms warm-up leg up BH.

We had the Punt almost to ourselves on a morn that evidenced more cyclists than cars – at least around Berowra. PJ’s Glenorie adjunct proved a winner, at least to those who like hills, ‘cause by taking the right along Wylds Rd – a mere two clicks shy of GreenShades - we enjoyed a new 6kms out/down/back stretch which contained two new mothers of hills. [Christmas had come late!] Why the hills, ‘cause Wylds Rd leads to a creek down a gully. Or was that an abyss? Sure, there was 2kms on Old Northern Rd, but no more scary than sharing tight corners up from The Gorge, contending with the waves of motorists as they scream up from the Berowra Waters Punt, and, of course, watching out for that arsehole in the white Cortina bomb that kamikazed down BH half an hour earlier when we were scaling it.

Luigi, the café mgr., had a table already prepared for us at GreenShades, ‘cause I’d booked ahead. Unrequested, Luigi delivered two icy cold jugs of ice water. It must ‘ve been evaporating, ‘cause we kept ordering more. Although Bruce did have to milk a cow to wash down a gigantic bowl of muesli he’d ordered. Serves him right for ordering Chook Chow, which is what it resembled after Marea had snavelled all the good bits. Can recommend the bacon and spinach omelette served on large white china with shiny shooten irons.

Marea stole QOM from Whippet up to Koppers Log from Berrilee, and with Temperate Tony and Brian joining the Piker Phil in the shortcut back to Turra' along the east side of the rail line, Blonde Bombshell and BackPacker were the only riders to do the final climb with Madame securing the Yellow Jersey, averaging an impressive 25.05kms over 80.3kms of Quatre Montagnes with two new mothers of hills.

Following week, annual Audax "Cows with Guns Ride" - Sunday, 14 January parking at Burradoo - 113kms or 125kms if scaling Macquarie Pass a 2^nd time

Two weeks prior to last week's Audax interested Muggs drove [100 mins from Chatswood] at Cocks Crow to Burradoo (just south of Bowral) for 113kms of hills [Kangaloon twice and Macq Pass once and a plethora of ups ‘n downs in between]. We again park at Burradoo by eight bells and roll out at 8:15am for a truly awesome ride in the Southern Highlands cycling thru Glenquarry to Kangaloon, East Kangaloon, Robertson, descending precipitous Jamberoo Pass to Jambaroo, cycling north to Albion Park where we again brunch in a familiar park before scaling Macquarie Pass and returning to Robertson for lunch at Pig 'n Thistle Café, Old Cheese Factory Robertson, before retracing our steps back to Burradoo - ETR 3pm - 113kms or 137kms for those who opt to climb Macquarie Pass a second time before lunch.

NB: The temperature on the Southern Highlands is generally a few degrees cooler than Syd.

Take Hombush Bay Drive and turn right on to M5 [about 1.5kms past Roselands Shopping Centre which is on RHS] and stay on the Hume H’way. Take the Mittagong off-ramp and pass thru Bowral. At the round-about at southern exit from Bowral, take the road on the right, being Kangaloon Rd (leads to Glenquarry). DON’T take Moss Vale Rd at the round-about which is off to the left, ‘cause you’ll end up at Moss Vale. Drive 2.2kms down Kangaloon Rd then at a round-about turn right into Eridge Park Road and park approx 150m down on LHS. Those who’ve attended GEAR Oct cycle long w’ends will recognise that the rear access to Chevalier College is approx. 700 metres further along Eridge Park Road on RHS.

Dieter, Whippet and PJ did the 50.3kms to West Head last Wed.

As Monday was a Public Hol and Wed is Papa Bear's tennis night, we depart from Mona Vale Fruit Barn at 5:30pm on Thurs, 4 Jan.

If you want to check that you aren’t going to be riding on your lonesome, 'phone PJ - 9312.3319 or 0404014725.

Below is an extract from the pending bi-mthly Push On mag which covers rides in Mar/Apr.

"Date: Sat. 9 March and Sunday 10 March – Loop the Lake weekend

Rides: Sat. 60kms from Fassifern at 1pm. Sun. 85kms Loop the Lake from Speers Point 8am

Grade: H Group: Bike North. Contact: Phil Johnston 9312.3319 (W) for B & Bs, restaurant for Sat evening and w’end itinerary - Muggaccinos will ride with the locals on Sat arvo, dine with ‘em that evening and Loop the Lake on Sunday morn."

I’ve e-mailed the crew at Newcastle Cycle Movement, and things are falling together for an actioned packed w’end, where we can do some stuff with a contingent which ain’t too far away. It might lead to NCM members attending a Muggs rides when visiting the Big Smoke, and us driving to Newcastle more than once a year. Brenda and I have details of B & Bs etc.

The Scribe - 2 Jan 2001