Muggaccinos Pedlars Sunday Cyclists - The Bullsheet

Roll out of -

• Turramurra at 7am - 99.8kms; or
• Hornsby at 7:45am - 70kms

Cyclists commencing at Turra' do not pass by the Hornsby start point, rather usually catching any riders from Hornsby approaching Pie in the Sky
Ride contact is Phil J 9498.3684 hm or 9312.3319 wk.

Please hardcopy these instructions and bring on Sunday.

Both below ride start points to arrive at initial Nosh Stop - Mt White Village Store around 9:50am:

• Longer Ride - Cinque Montagnes [100kms]
  Turramurra station car park [North/East side of station in Rohini St off Eastern Rd] for a 7am rollout in/out of Bobbin Head, arriving at Kalkari Reserve after 13.7kms at 7:45am for a brief breather - 10 mins. Around 8:05am we take a right onto the Pac Highway at the lights after passing Asquith Golf Course. Then we pedal due north past Cowan [30kms] and Pie in the Sky over the old Hawkesbury River Bridge up to Mt. White for Brekkie.
• Shorter Ride - Three Hills [70kms]
  Hornsby station car-park [150 metres Nth/West of the Railway Hotel in Jersey St] for 7:45am roll out cycling 600 metres north up Jersey St, taking a short left, followed by a right 60 metres later [at traffic lights] onto Old Pacific Highway for the 35kms ride passing Cowan [15kms] and Pie in the Sky over the old Hawkesbury River Bridge up to Mt. White for Brekkie.

Allowing for 25 mins with the Nose Bag on, around 9:50am (depending on the weather) we retrace our route for a 2^nd Nosh Stop at Pie in the Sky at 10:45am for a further 20 mins natter.

ETR for those who commence at -

• Hornsby is 11:35pm - 70kms - 2 hills.
• Turra' is 12:30pm - 99.8kms - 4 hills.

On a delightful early Summer's morn, with the prospect of some real heat later, Snow White (Widget – a tad grey) and her Seven Dwarfy Dorks turned out from the Turra’ tarmac on 7.20ish a.m. after dutifully filling out the Arrogant Bastard’s Chrissy Card list aka the Ride Disclaimer. A slim, trim Bruce Bokor was a handsome sight just as we rolled out.

After collecting Bazza, the pseudo Septic with the Canadian drawl, at the egress of the Chase Rd leg, a bust-your-gut pace was set twds the park. PJ mentioned to Bazza that Joe used to peel-off 200kms a week when he was at his peak as a runner, prior to Ostio something causing him to switch to cycling. Joe sauntered up behind soon after whereupon, Bazza exclaimed. "Joe were you ever a jogger?" To which Joe responded in the affirmative. Bazza sassed back, "Yeah! I remember seeing you out on my morning runs. I was always the guy in front of you."

Bobbin Head looked at its pristine best as we rolled over the quaint stone bridge when most folk were still snoozing. The pace cranked up on the familiar elongated leg-stretching elevation in pursuit of the KOM to Kalkari Reserve. With many talented hill climbers in contention for this prestigious, but intangible accolade (coming from someone with no chance of winning it), who would take out the coveted title? Would it come from amongst the proven Heavyweights -Tearaway Tony or ActionMan on mountain bikes or Boisterous Barry or our Raconteur? Or perhaps from amongst the Lightweights, where the handicapper had been kind to them - The Whippet, Pacific Pete or Milko Joe. I mused that PJ is always a slow starter. "Na! Like me, he's no chance!"

Alas, Widget was last to Kalkari, suffering knacker fractures in both legs, and couldn’t 've given a toss who won anyway - "Give me the flats any day!"

The next section to Brooklyn also encouraged a Hearty Heart Rate with as per usual PJ, our Tour Leader, getting things ass about and ‘leading' from the rear of the Peloton - spotted some Females on Frames whereupon he cogitated "might wish to join our ranks", and stopped to pass over our WebSite fliers.

We met up with ToothFairy at Pie in the Sky - who had to make calls on her patients and started from Hornsby. Also to appear was Exuberant Eric who announced he had commenced his 2001 Audax training that day, and a rookie Mugg but definitely a seasoned cyclist, Powerhouse Paul (who seems to posses the credentials for being a Mugg – ‘cos, although he got the start time right, he goosed-up by going to the other car-park on the western side of Turra' to meet us! We meet in the Car Corral with the yellow www.muggaccinos.com on the tarmac, no doubt thoughtfully provided by RTHey to help fellow Muggs.

A pleasant repast was partaken of with Segafredo caffé scoring a 7½ and then it was back to work. Brian and Barry were returning home - Party Animal, the Anorexic Greyhound, was off to BN's Xmas party and Bazza had chores awaiting.

A pleasant but alas all too short ferry ride was enjoyed after a swift descent to glistening Berowra Waters, then it was business once again and a fearful climb before eventually reaching the exalted nursery at Galston where only the toffs hang out. PJ informed Widget of some hi-falutin', intellectual dialogue, when he rode with Tony and Joe up from the punt to Berrilee. It seems Joe and Tony both studied Engineering [Chemical and Mechanical respectively] around the same circa at NSW Uni yonks ago and with PJ just finishing a Masters in Mayhem, a great brains trust was gathered. This is just a snippet. Joe said: "Phil, you wearing a different pair of cycle shoes this week. Are they better for hill climbing?" PJ: "No, these are my blue ones."

Amidst delightful sunshine on a large table in where the honoured guests eat, we gorged our guts and banged our gums - no being banished to the boondocks 'cause we whiffed a bit. No being perched on our Pat Malones, quarantined from the other hobnobs, on a solo table just outside the Johns for us this week. The Arrogant Bastard made his usual unfunny speech to the waitress about how she should provide us with a bill promptly, as we were renowned for pushing off without paying it, if afforded half a chance. [A few chuckles, but many more groans, but still the bill came with din dins and we settled up smartly.]

Eric pampered his pores by applying wife, Brigetta’s, ‘vanishing cream’.

Eric, also known as the Humongous Hun,

After about 25 mins with the Nose Bags on, ToothFairy cracked her whip so we all jumped to attention, remounting to test our legs out over Galston Gorge which was again heavily contested. Milko Joe descended to the Gorge like Shit out of Shanghai after a bad bout of belli belli - where we re-assembled fleetingly at the familiar bus stop at the top of another KOM, where, over the years we've met some odd coves, but never sited a bus.

Only one hill left to go but Pete and Brenda denied themselves this last little avenue of pleasure in order to escort Dr. Ann safely back to her vehicle at Hornsby, 'cause those patient visits were a beckoning. Besides, she had promised our bikes and us a ride back to Turra'. Our hopes were raised only to be shattered when we discovered they wouldn’t all fit on her bike rack. Never mind, P and B needed a dose of ‘scary road’ stuff, so we happily hoofed it back along the highway.

Brenda and Pete's conscience got the better of 'em, so they hightailed it to Nth Turra' shopping centre where many a coldie has been downed after a hard ride, and intercepted the main contingent. Low 'n behold, another trooper, BackPacker, rolled in. Seems he caught the Red Eye Special from Perth on Sat morn at Sparrow Fart, causing him to sleep-in on Sun. morn and had been trying to catch up to the Peloton all day.

The Dirty Cheat reported later that all arrived safely back at Turra' around 1:40pm - 100.2kms of 5 delightful hills and the prospect of more mountains next week.

Please hardcopy these instructions if cycling on Wednesday.

It spat rain and was overcast last Wed, 6 Dec at 5:45pm at Terrey Hills. However, it shouldn't have meant PJ had to cycle with two interlopers from Cyclops [compatriots from a neighbouring county] - Stumpy and Hefty. Brian Willis arrived a trifle late and mistook Church Point for Cottage Point. With his biggest rear cog a modest 23, The Whippet almost popped his knee caps climbing back out.

Sunset is 8:04pm this Wed - we again rollout at exactly 5:45pm - with stragglers to catch up by intercepting on return leg from Duffy's Forest.

Park opposite Terrey Hills Fruit Barn (50 metres into Myoor Larool Rd from junction of Mona Vale Rd and Forest Way). We cycle about 3kms along Myoor Larool Rd to Terrey Hills shopping centre and hook a left at Booralie Rd and pedal a 6 kms flat/fast stretch past Terrey Hills Golf Course and the rifle range to Duffys Forest where we U-turn at the dead-end and return via same route to access the Ku’ring’gai Chase National Park (around 6:30pm) via Dandenong Rd and Beltana Ave to McCarrs Creek Rd. We head straight for Church Point Café - ETR of 6:30pm. 15 mins for drugs/grub, then we climb back up to Terrey Hills returning to the Fruit Barn prior to sunset].

If you want to check that you ain't going to be riding on your lonesome, 'phone PJ - 9312.3319 or Brian Willis - 9807.6439.

Following Sunday, 24 Dec, Brunch Binge at Brenda's at Bayview on Chrissie Eve with pressies:

Depart St Ives at 7am for a 55kms circuit taking in Duffy Forest, West Head and Church Point, then back to St Ives by 10am whereupon cyclists are invited to Brenda's at Bayview for Brunch. Being Xmas Eve, everyone attending is invited to bring a wrapped gift [up to $10] to put under the tree to be distributed over a Lavazza Café and Chrissie Cake.

A bottle of wine is a safe fall-back gift, however, try and show some mind's eye by delving into those creative juices that are supposed to be latent in your cranium for something a smidgen more interesting. NB: Brenda/Russell's pad has a Cement Pond and a tennis court, so bring your togs and racket if you feel inclined.

Direction's to Brenda's digs:

Take 2^nd left turn (after Baha’i Temple) off the Mona Vale Road into Lane Cove Road.

Turn 1^st left into Walter Road (signs for Minkara Retirement Resort)

At the crossroads turn right into Cabbage Tree Road.

Turn 1^st left into Minkara Road (do not go down the hill).

Pass the Retirement Village (RHS) and turn 1^st left down Torumba Ave.

Turn left into Gilwinga Drive.

Turn right into Barcoola Place.

Carry straight up the hill to the Welsh Embassy (spot the flag) right at the end. Plenty of street parking or drive in if you dare.

Speed merchant and Audax destroyer, Jamie Hedgier, aka Ginger Meggs, who has been travelling the world for 18 months in pursuit of the perfect woman, reported in his e-mail to PJ of Wed 06/12 11:28pm that he can't join the gang in trashing Brenda's on Chrissie Eve, 'cause he gets off the Red-Eye Special from Honkers the day before and will be doing zees. However, he is interested in keeping us honest during Audax training in the hills during Jan.

The Scribe 'n the Widget - 11 Dec 2000 - johnstph@cba.com.au